Every Friday we meet with the young women in the community here. The term “young women” is a perfect description of who they are. Even though most of them are between the ages of 12 and 15, they’ve been forced to grow up way too soon. Many of them have faced situations most adults in the US haven’t. Parents dead, multiple younger siblings to take care of, a sex ridden culture, a 90% HIV/AIDS rate in the community (statistic taken last spring), a 29 year life expectancy, no available jobs, not enough water, not enough food, ludicrously expensive education. It’s not surprising that most girls turn to prostitution. It’s easy and it pays well. But somewhere in all the midst of all of these challenges and hardships, these girls have lost their hearts and themselves. They have no ambition, no hope, no desire for anything better because they don’t even know what that looks like. And with parents constantly leaving and dying they have no guidance in all of this, no one to ask questions and get real answers from. So they just do they best they can. And it breaks my heart. They have no idea who they could be, because they have no idea who they are. They’re defined by poverty and their bodies as sex objects.
Going into our first meeting with them we were at a loss as to what to say to them. How do you preach hope to girls like these when we’ve had comparatively perfect lives? How do you teach them to value themselves when no one else does? How do you get them to open up about what they’re going through when they’ve been taught by everyone and everything around them to keep it all to themselves? Obviously we felt we were in over our heads.
The girls finally arrived. There were about 8 of them and they all seemed a little uncomfortable. We went around the circle and all gave our names and ages, then sang a few songs. After that we asked them what they wanted to talk about. Silence. So we got out paper and pens and told them to anonymously write down questions or subjects they wanted to talk about. Here’s what they wrote. (Some of the English is broken, so I’ve quasi-translated when necessary)
Good and bad friends! Hardships for teenagers regarding spotting Mr. Perfect.
What should we do to prevent pregnancy and STDs? Sex is our culture. God made it 1000 years ago. It’s a good activity.
To talk about our lives and how to take care of it. To talk about how we may love God.
Where God can use you.
I’d like to talk about how girls should behave and what girls are going to face as they grow up.
When do you get married? What would you say when a boy says “I love you ” and wants you to not finish school, but you see that he’s a cool guy?
What kind of difficulties do you face as girls in America? How can I make sure that my husband is really the one? What characteristics should he have?
Talk about having sex with boys. Talk about finishing school.
I don’t think we could have gotten a better response. Despite their uninterested and awkward countenances, they’re obviously searching for answers to very big questions. We talked about how to “take care of their lives” and how to love God last week, and then we asked them if they had anything they’d like us to pray about. Again there was silence. So we passed out paper and pens so they could write them down.
I wish I could pass my exams and just be self motivated to study, because I really want to be called Dr. someday.
I want to love the Lord and respect my parents. I want to finish school. I want a part time job.
I’m asking you to pray for me as I’m waiting for my exam results which will come out early next year. Pray so that I’ll get good grades. That will make me happy.
My mom and my father don’t care about me. But my father says he can pay for school fees but doesn’t care about the school uniform or about pocket money or traveling expenses and the school is far away. And my grandmother is poor and doesn’t have the money for that.
I need to pray for passing at school and pray for my grandmother for fixing her house so she can have a better life.
To ask God that a lot of girls think sex is a style, but it’s not. It’s a game of married peoples. Girls must stop it.
I want to finish school. I want pray for my mother to love me. And I want you to pray that I don’t want a boyfriend.
They’re up against a lot. Sometimes it’s overwhelming thinking about everything they have and are going to face. But we just have to remember that they’re in God’s hands, not ours. It’s not up to us to “save” them. All we can do is pray and love.
