liladillon - Peanut Butter

The following is
a legitimate "conversation" we had the other night. This is why five people
should not spend six months straight together. This is also why I will miss my
teammates like no other when we go home.

Bryan: I found some Jiff peanut
butter that the ambassador team left in our room!

Jess/Me: Oh my goodness! Where is
it?!

Katie: Are yall going to eat it
all like you did last time?

Bryan: Yeah, you can't have it.

Jess/Me: Why not?!

Jon: Because it's a waste of
peanut butter.

Me: Um, why?

Jess: It's not like we don't eat
it.

Jon: Yeah but then we can't use
it for sandwiches.

Jess: Well you can use the other
peanut butter for sandwiches.

Jon: Then you can eat the other
peanut butter.

Me: But it's not the same and you
know it. Come on. Just let us have a little bit.

Jess: Yeah it's like dessert.

Jon: No. You can't eat the peanut
butter. I'm not going to have to buy more peanut butter just so that you can
eat American peanut butter straight. You get home in a month and you can eat
all the peanut butter you want then.

Me: But that's a whole month a
way. You just want to deny us the pleasure of peanut butter.

Jon: No. It's just wasteful. You
don't need it.

Me: Well then you can't put sugar
on top of your cereal any more Jon Melo. It's wasteful and you don't need it.

Jon: Then you can't either. And
it's not the same anyway.

Me: I don't put sugar on my
cereal thank you. And it's exactly the same thing. You just like the way it
tastes, you don't need it.

Jess: Well what about ice cream?
We buy ice cream just because we like it.

[This continues for about ten
minutes]

Bryan: OKAY! You know what. I
will be in charge of the dang peanut butter distribution. I will give everyone
their fair share and then the rest I will use to [insert inappropriate comment
here]. I didn't even have to tell you about it and now yall want to eat ALL MY
peanut butter!

[laughter]

Me: Did we really just argue about
peanut butter?

Jon: I don't really care about
the peanut butter. Yall can eat it.

Jess: Yeah I don't really care
that much either. I was just having fun listening to Lila and Jon argue about
it.

Welcome to community and an
unhealthy addiction to American peanut butter.